Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs in the world, and can sometimes feel unrewarding as well! However, when it comes to parenting styles, there is no one size fits all! Research has identified four distinct parenting patterns, which include authoritarian and authoritative, together with permissive and uninvolved styles. Let’s examine these four parenting styles to identify which approach works best for developing, healthy, and happy children
Understanding the Four Parenting Styles
Parenting styles define the manner in which parents enforce rules, while communicating and handling the needs of their children. These parenting approaches determine the child’s future emotional well-being, and their behavioral patterns and achievements in life.
Authoritarian – The parenting style under authoritarianism involves strict control through demanding behavior. Children must follow instructions, without any possibility of questioning. In this style, the rules are strict, without much leeway.Authoritative – Firm but fair. Parents create specific guidelines and show their children why these guidelines exist. The approach promotes independence, through supportive and loving interactions.Permissive – Permissive parents maintain high levels of leniency and caring, while establishing minimal rules or boundaries. Parents maintain friendships with their children, rather than establishing authority roles.Uninvolved – Parents are detached or neglectful. They show little involvement through either guidance or emotional support, or attention.
1. Authoritarian Parenting: Strict, but Often Harsh
Authoritarian parents demand complete obedience from their children, together with complete respect toward their authority. Rules exist, but parents do not explain the motivation behind these rules to their children. The practice of punishing children is common, when they make errors or fail to follow instructions.Examples: “Because I said so,” “Do it now or else,” “No talking back.”
How Children Are Affected:
Children who receive authoritarian parenting, tend to excel in their academic work, while following established rules. However, on the inside, these children experience fear, as well as sadness and anger. They develop poor self-confidence and experience difficulties with independent decision-making. Some individuals develop rebellious behavior in adulthood, after experiencing excessive rule enforcement during their childhood.
2. Authoritative Parenting: The Balanced Approach
Authoritative parents maintain a balance between being firm, while showing love towards their children. The parents create rules, but explain them to their children, using understandable language. The parents pay attention to their children’s thoughts, as well as feelings, while encouraging them to ask questions. Fair and consistent discipline exists alongside punishment, through praise and supportive measures.Examples: “We need to finish homework before playing because it helps you learn,” “You’re upset, let’s talk about it,” “I’m proud of how you handled that situation.”
How Children Are Affected:
Research shows that children with authoritative parents, tend to be confident, responsible, and good at making choices. The children perform well at school, and maintain healthy social relationships with others. Children develop respect through positive experiences, instead of fear while receiving help to grow.
3. Permissive Parenting: Loving but Lenient
Permissive parents maintain both loving and affectionate relationships with their children, but they refuse to establish or enforce strict boundaries. The parents strive to maintain their child’s happiness, while avoiding conflicts. Children have limited discipline in this approach, since the parents rarely discipline them, and provide extensive freedom.Examples: “You can stay up as long as you want,” “Eat whatever you like,” “It’s okay to skip homework sometimes.”
How Children Are Affected:
Children who receive permissive parenting, experience love but develop poor self-discipline. These children struggle to follow rules, in both their home and external environments. The ability to manage emotions and take responsibility becomes challenging for these children, during their transition to adulthood.
4. Uninvolved Parenting: Neglectful and Detached
Uninvolved parents demonstrate both emotional distance and inattentiveness, in their behavior. Basic survival needs such as food and shelter get fulfilled by parents, who show little interest in mentoring or expressing affection, or monitoring their children. Some parents become overwhelmed by their personal issues, or demonstrate general neglect.Examples: Little to no communication or involvement in the child’s life.
How Children Are Affected:
Uninvolved parents leave their children with feelings of abandonment, which results in poor self-esteem. Children from this environment show two possible behavioral responses: they may become aggressive, or they may withdraw from others. These children demonstrate poor academic performance and exhibit multiple emotional challenges.
Which Parenting Style Produces the Best Outcomes
Most experts agree that authoritative parenting creates the best environment for children to develop in a healthy way, while becoming emotionally secure and achieving success.Why? Parents who are authoritative, both set rules and provide loving care. These parents establish specific limits, which enable their children to explore themselves freely for learning opportunities. Children who experience this balanced approach, learn to be independent and feel secure in their love-filled environment.
Children who experience authoritative parenting, develop strong critical thinking abilities and learn effective problem-solving and emotional management. The academic achievement and social performance of these children, exceeds those of children raised through other parenting methods.
Can Parenting Styles Change
Definitely! It is normal for parents to switch between different styles, as their children mature. Your relationship with your child along with their growth toward success, will improve when you become more authoritative in your parenting approach.Remember, no parent is perfect. The main objective involves developing a loving structured space, which enables children to experience security, alongside respect and support.ReferencesAmerican Psychological Association (APA): Parenting Styles and Their EffectsChild Mind Institute: 4 Types of Parenting StylesCenters for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC): Positive Parenting Tips
