When emotions run high, children often can’t access the reasoning part of their brain.
What helps more than lectures is “mirror talk.” This means reflecting their body language, tone, and feelings with calm empathy. For example, if a child clenches fists and shouts, replying in a calm voice, “Those fists look really tight… something feels very unfair right now?” helps the child feel mirrored, not mocked.
This technique comes from play therapy and emotional attunement strategies, and it helps build trust. When a child feels truly understood, the anger often melts into conversation.