In a heartbreaking incident, 3 students died by suicide after failing to clear intermediary supplementary exams in Telangana. The students, aged 16-19, resorted to the drastic step after the failure. As devastating that might sound, exam pressure, and the rejection from failure can drive many students to take such an extreme step. But, what can parents do in such a scenario? Here are some ways you can support your child, no matter what happens…
Create a supportive environment
Children need to feel safe and supported at home, especially during exams. For this it is important that your home is a conducive place that supports learning, and also aids in the child’s emotional quotient. Avoid criticizing or comparing your child to others, as this can increase anxiety and lower self-esteem. For this:Listen to your child’s concerns without judgment.Provide a safe space for your feelings and fears.
Set realistic goals (and your expectations)
When it comes to talent or personality, there is no one size fits all. Setting unrealistic expectations or pressuring your child to achieve perfect results can make them more anxious. Instead:Appreciate their efforts, and not just their marksEncourage them to constantly work on themselves, without resorting to shouting or screaming at them.Let your child know that mistakes are part of learning, and exams are not the only benchmark for success.
Help them manage their time
Good time management can reduce last-minute stress and help your child feel more in control. Work together to create a balanced study plan. For this:Break study sessions into smaller, manageable tasks.Include short breaks and relaxation time in the schedule.Encourage them to start preparing early rather than cramming at the last minute.
Encourage healthy habits
Physical health and mental well-being is closely related. Healthy routines can boost your child’s energy and concentration during exams.Make sure your child eats balanced meals with plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.Encourage regular exercise, such as walking, cycling, or playing outdoors.Ensure they get enough sleep—7 to 9 hours per night is ideal for most children.
Help them manage their stress
Older children get extremely stressed out about exams. Instead of negating their concerns, or passing them off as frivolous, help your child effectively manage them, and no, simply saying, ” Do not stress” does not work. Instead, help them with: Deep breathing exercises or gentle stretching.Mindfulness or short meditation session.Taking breaks to listen to music, draw, or do something they enjoy (mindful activities like listening to music, walking etc)Remind your child that it’s normal to feel nervous about exams, but these feelings can be managed.
Just show up
Sometimes, just being available to listen and offer a hug can make a big difference. Show your child that you care about their feelings, not just their performance.Ask how they are feeling about exams and listen without interrupting.Offer reassurance and let them know you believe in their abilities.Help them see setbacks as opportunities to learn and grow.Most importantly, watch out for your kids’ emotions, and how they have been feeling. If you see your child getting paranoid, upset, or frustrated over the smallest of things, seek out professional help. And most importantly, tell your child that his only job is to give his/her best to the exams, and the consequences, if awry, will be dealt with later.
