While the proliferation of online dating apps makes searching for love more convenient, finding love is still a challenge. A cute photo and simple “hello” may not be enough to help you break through the noise, which is why many of those feeling stuck on what to say are turning to artificial intelligence for assistance .
That’s according to a study on singles in America released last month by dating app Match.com and The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University which found that 1 in 4 singles — and nearly half of Gen Z — use AI to shore up their dating game. Turning to the technology as a tool for crafting witty or charming messages or filtering matches, 26% of Americans said they use AI to help them with their dating life, according to the study — a 333% increase from a year ago.
“People are turning to AI for literally any use case you could imagine,” said Kasley Killam, a social health and human connection expert. “And so it’s inevitable that people are going to turn to AI for dating coaching.”
Capitalizing on the trend are AI dating assistants, which coach people on what to say, what tone to strike and how to keep the conversation flowing if it hits a lull. For individuals who feel writing is not their strong suit, the technology can be a real confidence booster.
Roman Khaves, founder of a dating assistant app called Rizz — which Gen Z-speak for “charisma” — says the service provides around-the-clock, objective advice for people who can’t afford a human dating coach or can’t reach their friends in a pinch.
Rizz, Keepler
“It’ll never sleep on you,” Rizz founder Roman Khaves told CBS MoneyWatch. Khaves likens the app to an “AI wingwoman or AI wingman in your pocket.”
Rizz works by allowing users to upload screenshots of their conversations from dating apps or social media, for which Rizz then suggests a reply using generative AI. The more you use Rizz, the more it understands what type of replies you like. And that trains the model to improve over time.
Rizz’s user base is roughly 10 million, according to Khaves, and is composed of 65% men and 35% women, largely within the 18 to 25 age range.
Another service called Keepler, a dating-optimization app, has a feature that helps people navigate the dreaded practice known as “ghosting,” which is when someone abruptly cuts off communication with someone without providing any explanation.
One reason people ghost others is that they don’t know the best way to let someone down easy, Keepler co-founder and CEO Rachel Abramowitz, told CBS MoneyWatch. Keepler’s guard against such tactless behavior is Keri, the app’s in-house relationship guide. “What we’ve built is a way to put in your raw, unedited feedback to Keri. Keri will rewrite it for you, and then you can send it to somebody,” said Abramowitz.
For those who have been ghosted, Keepler allows users to request feedback from their vanishing date directly through the app, or have Keri help them write a message to send on their own.
Abramowitz made clear that the service is not providing therapy, but support. With Keri, she said, “it really does feel like you have someone who is objective, who is on your side, who has no ulterior motives, and really wants you to help reach your goals.”
Dating apps are also getting into the AI assistant game. Hinge and Grindr, two of the most popular dating apps, are also taking steps to integrate AI into their platforms. In January, Hinge introduced Prompt Feedback, an AI feature that provides users with immediate feedback on information their profiles as they are entering the information.
A supplement, not substitution
The growing popularity of AI dating assistants gives rise to questions over authenticity as more users rely on AI to convey thoughts and ideas they did not come up with on their own.
One 36-year old user of Rizz, who asked to remain anonymous to protect his privacy, told CBS MoneyWatch that he could see why using AI to craft messages may come off as disingenuous to some, although he merely uses it to stand out from the crowd. Some of his dates, he said, have appeared skeptical after he revealed to them that he was getting behind-the-scenes coaching from Rizz, but he believes the service is a helpful conversation starter.
“For me personally, it’s good for just initiating conversation, getting someone’s attention, and then being able to just be myself after that,” he said.
Killam, the social health and human connection expert, said she thinks AI dating tools can be useful, as long as people don’t misrepresent who they are or lean on them too much.
“The risk is that when we use AI as a substitute for human connection, rather than a supplement to it,” she said.
contributed to this report.
