Discipline and children do not often go hand in hand, as parents struggle to get their kids to listen to them and follow a routine. This in turn, leads to anger, frustration, and helplessness of parents, that invariably results in a shouting/screaming match. This is a vicious cycle, and one that goes on loop for many years, before the parents eventually give up. However, is there a better way to inculcate discipline in the child, without resorting to violence? Well-known spiritual teacher and motivational speaker Sister Shivani, offers some solutions. Let’s take a look…
Understand the root cause
First things first. Instead of labeling parents as “stubborn”, “lazy” or “selfish”, parents should try to understand the reasons behind their behavior. Children’s actions often reflect their emotional or mental experiences. When parents take a deep look inside, they can address the root causes and help their children heal emotionally. It could be because of some home issues, parents’ own behaviour or something at school. Try and understand.
Avoid “negative” tags
Words have a powerful impact on children. Sister Shivani warns that negative labels stick with children and shape their self-image in harmful ways. Calling a child “bad” or “stupid” can create lasting emotional scars and limit their growth. Instead, parents should use positive affirmations and encourage their children by focusing on their strengths and potential. This helps build confidence and self-worth.
Maintain a “calm” environment
It is not just about how you behave with your child, it is also about whether your home environment is conducive to his growth or not. Sister Shivani explains that children absorb the energy around them like sponges. If parents are stressed, angry, or fearful, children pick up on these feelings and may act out. Therefore, it is important for parents to remain calm when correcting behavior. A composed and peaceful approach helps children listen better and respond positively.
Keep the energy going
Parents too, even with their right intentions, can judge their child. Sister Shivani says that when parents become judgmental, their energy of love gets blocked. This blocks effective communication and connection with the child. Instead of focusing on correcting mistakes harshly, parents should keep their love flowing freely. Advice and discipline come after love, not before it. This energy provides a safe space for your child to grow in.
Use positive affirmations
Sister Shivani encourages parents to use positive affirmations about their children daily. Statements like “This child is calm and respectful” send powerful positive energy to the child’s mind. Parents can also give a positive spin to a negative event and see the difference. For example, if your child has spilled some water, instead of shouting at him say things like, “Oops, now that this has happened, will you help me clean this up with the new mop we have? And next time, you can be more careful!” This positive spin will help the child not think of it as a huge blunder.
Don’t compare
Every child is unique with their own personality and life journey. No two children (even siblings) are alike, and that is okay! Sister Shivani advises parents to avoid comparing their children with others. Comparisons can harm a child’s self-esteem and create feelings of inadequacy. Instead, parents should celebrate their child’s individual progress and encourage them to grow into the best version of themselves. Growth is about personal evolution, not outshining others.
