Disney’s latest beeline for your wallet, and your nostalgia, is a live-action remake of “Lilo & Stitch.” If that title doesn’t ring a bell, this movie is not for you at all. I’m astonished by how many of my millennial friends consider the 2002 original to be an essential staple of their childhood.
The character of Stitch is a fan favorite for them, and these are the people Disney is trying to reach. It’s smart counterprogramming to the behemoth that is “Mission: Impossible — The Final Reckoning.”
I shouldn’t really be surprised by the Stitch love: I took my then-4-year old nephew to see the original “Lilo & Stitch,” and I’ve never seen a kid enjoy a movie more. His raggedy uncle, however, was praying the movie would fry in the projector; I hated, hated, hated this frenetic cartoon about an obnoxious little Hawaiian girl named Lilo and her equally destructive alien pal, Experiment 626, a.k.a. “Stitch.”
The remake keeps about 85 percent of the original plot, and a lot of its dialogue, so this recap will sound very familiar.
The creation of a mad scientist named Jumba (Zach Galifianakis), Stitch was designed for maximum carnage. He’s bulletproof, fireproof, smarter than a hundred supercomputers, and can learn and adapt to surroundings in the blink of an eye. Water is his only enemy, as his molecular structure will make him so heavy in water that he will drown.
Of course, when Stitch escapes from a tribunal where Jumba is being tried for creating him, he crash-lands on an island in Hawai’i, a state surrounded by water. He disguises himself as the world’s ugliest dog, and Lilo (Maia Kealoha) temporarily adopts him from the pound.
Lilo’s sister Nani (Sydney Agudong) has been taking care of her since their parents died in an automobile accident. Nani is trying to keep the family together, but she’s barely an adult. The social worker assigned to the case, Mrs. Kekoa (Tia Carrere, who voiced Nani in the 2002 original), is understanding, but warns Nani that Lilo may be put in foster care.
Meanwhile, an alien called the Grand Councilwoman (Hannah Waddingham) is quite ticked off that Stitch escaped. She has no choice but to free the jailed Jumba and send him to Earth to retrieve his product. The cruel and unfriendly Jumba is joined by an extroverted, one-eyed Earth specialist named Pleakley (Billy Magnussen). Pleakley’s job is to keep the hot-headed Jumba from creating an intergalactic incident.
Also in the mix is the awesomely named Cobra Bubbles (Courtney B. Vance), whose role here is slightly altered from the original’s incarnation, which was voiced by Ving Rhames. David (Kaipo Dudoit), the tongue-tied surfer dude who’s sweet on Nani, also makes the leap to this version. Jason Scott Lee, the original David, has a cameo here as well.
As for Stitch, fans will be happy to know that Chris Sanders is once again providing his voice. Sanders also co-directed and co-wrote the original film before going on to greatness with 2010’s “How to Train Your Dragon” and last year’s superb adaptation, “The Wild Robot.” “Dragon” is also getting the live-action treatment on June 13th, so I guess this is the summer of Sanders remakes.
I revisited the animated version of “Lilo & Stitch” right before my screening of this movie. I still hated the original, but I found this version a bit more tolerable. Both of the titular characters are more likable here, with Kealoha giving a good performance as Lilo.
Take that with a grain of salt; I may have been slightly softened up by the sight of Stitch driving his car through the screening room before the movie started. This was cuter than anything the movie had to offer. Given my disdain, I’m surprised he didn’t try to run me over.
There’s still time to hit me, Stitch! Because from a visual standpoint, this film is the ugliest entry in the live-action remake subgenre. The troublemaking alien Stitch and his fellow alien cronies look terrible in this incarnation. Stitch has always looked ugly and acted ratchet — I believe that’s why he’s so beloved — but a 2-D drawing can pull that off far better than CGI.
Director Dean Fleischer Camp (“Marcel the Shell with Shoes On”) must have known the visuals would be a problem, because Jumba and Pleakley take on human form while they’re on Earth. Galifianakis works better as himself, but Magnussen shines only when voicing his character.
The concept of “ohana,” or extended family, remains a central theme in the live-action “Lilo & Stitch.” According to Lilo, family means no one is left behind or forgotten. I’m not surprised that I had the same cynical reaction to this overly simplistic philosophy in both iterations of this film. However, this version’s final speech extoling the virtues of ohana moved me a little bit. Perhaps I’m becoming an old softie after all.
★★
LILO & STITCH
Directed by Dean Fleischer Camp. Written by Chris Kekaniokalani Bright, Mike Van Waes. Starring Maia Kealoha, Sydney Agudong, Tia Carrere, Zach Galifianakis, Billy Magnussen, Hannah Waddingham. Courtney B. Vance, Kaipo Dudoit. At AMC Boston Common, Landmark Kendall Square, Alamo Drafthouse Seaport, AMC Causeway, suburbs. 108 min. PG (mild violence)
Odie Henderson is the Boston Globe’s film critic.
