Couple who fought for same-sex marriage in Maryland talks anniversary of legalization, efforts to overturn equality

Thursday, June 26, will mark ten years since the U.S. Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage nationwide.

Maryland voters passed marriage equality two years before that, and a pioneering couple helped lay the groundwork. 

Gita Deane and Lisa Polyak spoke to WJZ Investigator Mike Hellgren about the milestone anniversary and their own fight, which was unsuccessful in the courts but paved the way for equality.

Battle for marriage equality

In the kitchen of Polyak and Deane’s Baltimore home, their marriage license is proudly on display. 

“It’s one of the most important tools in our life, and we worked really hard for it,” Polyak said. “A lot of people worked really hard for it, and we just feel like it needs to be in the heart of our home.”

The couple, now together for more than 40 years, became the lead plaintiffs in a 2004 lawsuit arguing that Maryland’s ban on same-sex marriage was unconstitutional. 

They did it in part for their children, and remember obstacles to health insurance, even routine medical visits. 

“Our pediatrician wouldn’t let Gita bring my biological child for her well-baby visits because Gita didn’t have a legal relationship,” Polyak recalled. “When Gita was delivering our second child, they asked me to leave the delivery room.” 

Archived court documents detail how the state’s highest court ruled against them in 2007. 

“Even though we weren’t successful in the courts, I think we were on an education and awareness campaign in this state,” Deane said. “I think it’s important for people to see that we are their neighbors. Our children are in their schools. Their own children might be LGBT, and the fear needs to go away. We can all link arms and move forward together.”

An emotional wedding day

The couple got married anyway in Washington, D.C., in 2011. 

“It was a very emotional day – especially for our younger child who cried through the whole ceremony,” Deane said. “I think we had all waited so long for that, and in some ways, I couldn’t believe it was happening in my lifetime.” 

Polyak said, “Our wedding day was like stepping through the looking glass.”

The couple shared their wedding album, which was filled with pictures of that unforgettable day for their entire family.

 “Very few kids get to see their parents’ wedding day, but our kids were there for it, and we wanted to model for them that just because things don’t work out sometimes, doesn’t mean that you should give up,” Deane said. “You should always hope, and you should always work toward a better solution, and thankfully, that day arrived.”

Marriage equality in Maryland

Less than two years after the couple’s wedding, Maryland legalized marriage equality and sealed it with a referendum despite intense opposition from some. 

Polyk and Deane keep a copy of the bill that former Governor Martin O’Malley signed in the legislature when marriage equality passed the Maryland General Assembly. The bill is framed with a ceremonial pin. 

Possible threats to marriage equality

The bill, also displayed in their kitchen, is a reminder of the fight for equality at a time when some – including the Southern Baptist Convention – vow legal challenges to marriage rights and hope to overturn them nationwide.

“We do understand there are some states where they would like to roll back those protections, which just seems unnecessary and cruel,” Polyak said. 

“Putting this out there that LGBT people are just not equal and shouldn’t have access to the same things – that to me is a disease that I don’t want spreading in Maryland or anywhere,” Deane said. “The fact that this conversation is happening again is really disheartening and scary because it’s not just about the outcome, like, can they take it away? That’s a real worry. But it’s also putting out there that gay and lesbian and transgender people are not the same as you, so, don’t deserve the same protections. And to me, that just makes all of us feel unsafe.”

Even though it was stressful, Deane and Polyak have no regrets about the fight for equality.

“We found more times than not that people were so welcoming, more so than we anticipated. And now we have these concentric circles of community that we created because we were able to step outside our comfort zone, and I would offer that to encouragement to everyone,” Polyak said. 

WJZ also spoke to Jim Obergefell, the lead plaintiff in the case that legalized same-sex marriage nationwide. 

On Thursday, Hellgren will explore how the landmark decision unfolded—and why Obergefell decided to sue after his marriage at BWI Marshall airport.