As Abhishek Bachchan completes 25 years in the industry on June 30, the actor reflected on his most memorable films, comparisons with his contemporaries, his process, and much more in Part 1 of his interview with ETimes. Now, in Part 2 of the conversation, we delve deeper into who he is as a person and an artiste. He admits that he doesn’t express himself much in public and shares the reason behind it. We also attempt to tap into his lesser-known vulnerable side. Abhishek speaks about what he believes marks the true birth of an artist, avoids getting caught up in perceptions, social media trolling, opens up on his parents Amitabh Bachchan and Jaya Bachchan, and more. Excerpts:
Right now, it seems like you are Abhishek 2.0 – with how you’re looking, and your choices. Take me through that process.
If you’re not going to keep reinventing yourself you’re going to become very boring to the public. If we’re talking 25 years, the youth that is going to watch the movies today wasn’t even born when I debuted. The largest segment of the audience is I think between 17 and 25. So the majority of them weren’t even born when I started. So I was already around and working when they were born and growing up. So I’m not their contemporary. The people who were the youngsters same age as me when I debuted are all parents today, some are grandparents. People who were acting and were seniors of mine when I debuted, some are still around some are not. The ones that are around still, you see them and analyse that they can have this kind of an inning because they are re-inventing themselves constantly. They are hungry. It’s very important. How many of my colleagues who were starting off around the time I was starting off, how many of them are still active actors today? Not many, a handful.
Talking about movie milestones, do you think ‘Guru ‘ is your benchmark?
If given the opportunity to do the film again, I can unequivocally say that I can do a much better job today. Having said that, I don’t compare my movies or treat this as a benchmark to other movies because every film is different. But if Mani gave me the opportunity to do Guru scene by scene, shot by shot again today, 100 percent, I’d do a much better job for him.
Wasn’t ‘Guru’ also a milestone personally? You got married after that.
(Smiles) I proposed to her at the premiere, after the premiere in New York. But all my films are very personal. And I ensure that. There are possibly one or two that might not be as personal. But my rule of thumb is it has to be personal. If it’s not personal then I’ll probably not do it.
Back in 2003, on Simi Garewal ’s show, she asked you, ‘Are you hungry for success?’ You paused, your eyes welled up, and you replied, ‘I’m starving.’ What’s your state of mind today?
(Smiles) I’m still hungry. The one thing about us Indians is that we are ready to eat every two hours, right? I’m still very hungry. We can order food but we can’t order success. You have to work for it. The foundation of success is laid upon the ground of failure. And that’s something maybe which I wasn’t cognizant of back then. Today you are. In the business of films, it’s a lot more than just the purity of creativity. You should never change because I feel that that would be disastrous to trade that in as your first priority, your creativity. I wrote down something around 21-odd years ago. I have a little book where I write down quotes or if I read something that inspires me, I revisit it now and then. I wrote, ‘The death of a true artist is the loss of innocence the birth of a great artist is after the same.’ After you just lose your idealism and your innocence, you realise that there has to be a different way to achieve what you have to achieve.
So, when did you lose your innocence?
I didn’t lose my innocence. But I realised, I don’t need to be very idealistic about everything. You have to make stuff happen.
Give me an example.
For instance, if I know there’s a film which is about to be made and I would like to do it. I used to think initially that if a director thinks that I’m worthy of it, he will approach me. If I feel, ‘If they feel I’m the best person for this role, they will approach me.’ That’s the idealistic way to do it. But they might not even know of your existence. So, how do you hustle to get their attention, to convince them? You can’t just be so innocently idealistically saying, ‘If it’s meant for me, it will happen.‘ You have to go and chase it. Look at the law of nature. Food doesn’t just fall in your mouth right in the jungle. You have to go out and hunt your prey. You have to put in an effort. Life is not as simple as we’d like to believe it is. The world isn’t as nice a place as we’d like it to be. Stop complaining about it. Accept it. Move on. There are certain things you’re not going to be able to change. There are certain laws of nature you’re not going to be able to change. Life is a transaction. To get something you have to give up something. It’s like breathing. For me to breathe in, I have to breathe out first. Life teaches you that. But as I said, the foundation of success is failure.
But how do you manage to not become cynical in the face of failure or rejection?
Of course, you get cynical. It’s very difficult not to when on a weekly basis you’re failing publicly and it’s being rubbed in your face and people are deriving great pleasure by rubbing it in your face. So you get cynical, but you have to try your best to not remain cynical or be bitter about it. I’m not the kind of person who gets bitter. I’m always the kind of person who looks at the brighter side of life. I do think that life served me well most times and sometimes, it doesn’t serve me well and that’s all right.
In that same episode, Simi Garewal mentioned that your childhood crush, Zeenat Aman , told her you were this little boy with the most expressive eyes. How have you managed to hold on to that child-like quality?
Isn’t Zeenat Aman wonderful? She’s just so much dignity and grace. And I don’t know how I’ve been able to maintain that childlike quality and I don’t even want to know. Because the minute I’ll figure it out, I’ll just lose it. So, I don’t want to. But this is just me. There’s nothing grandiose about trying to maintain it. It’s about being genuine, right? I’m not somebody who can put on a facade and maintain it. If I fight with somebody and I’m sulking with somebody, I’ll sulk for like an hour and then I’m done. That’s just the personality I am.
Do you still seek validation from people?
Every actor does. They’d be lying if they say they didn’t. The minute you expect to be compensated or remunerated for your work, you belong to somebody else. As simple as that. If you don’t need validation from outside, then don’t charge for your work. That’s my personal view. Every actor lives for the audience. You live for the applause. It’s the most important thing. It’s food for your soul. So every actor lives for that and I think the day, I hope it never happens, but the day I feel I don’t need anybody to tell me I’m a good actor, I’ll just walk away. So, it’s the people who don’t like me or appreciate me that keep me hungry and make me feel, ‘I’ll win over you as well. My work didn’t appeal to you? Okay, let me figure out that and I’m going to try and convince you.’ That’s my attitude.
How’s that transition been today for you off-screen, 25 years later, from that boy to this man? You were really shy when you started off.
I think with experience you just become comfortable in your skin right? That’s perhaps what has happened.
Would it be fair to say that you don’t express yourself much off-screen?
Publicly, yes. I don’t express much off-screen. I express on screen. Do you want to know how I feel? Go watch my movie. I don’t want to know what actors are like when they’re not acting. I genuinely don’t. I’m not interested. I’m just interested in what they’re doing on screen. Don’t shatter that illusion for me.
Is that why, you’ve now limited what you share on social media?
Partially yes, and also I feel currently, sadly, and I’m the first person who used to say if you can’t handle the heat get out of the kitchen but I just feel a lot of social media is just about baiting. It’s not a place where you can have a healthy discussion. When it first started you could have a healthy debate or discourse with somebody. Now it’s not that. I use it more professionally now.
Does all the misinformation about you — especially with the flip side of fame in the age of social media—ever affect you? And why do you choose not to clarify any of it?
Because the person who is putting out the misinformation and the lies is not interested in clarity or in correction. Previously, things that were said about me, didn’t affect me. Today, I have a family and it’s very upsetting. Even if I clarify something, people will turn it around. Because negative news sells. You’re not me. You don’t live my life. You’re not answerable to the people that I’m answerable to. People who put out such negativity, have to live with their conscience. They need to deal with their conscience and answer to their maker. See, it’s not just me. I don’t get affected. I know what the rigmarole of this place is. There are families involved. I’ll give you a very good example of this whole new fad of trolling.
Go on..
It’s so convenient to sit anonymously behind a computer screen and write the most nasty things. You do realise you’re hurting somebody. No matter how thick-skinned they are, it affects them. How would you like it if somebody did that to you? A couple of years ago, I put out some post and some troll said something very nasty about me. Sikandar (Kher), who’s very close to me, he’s a very dear friend, felt hurt seeing that comment. So, he replied to the troll saying, ‘I dare you to come and say this on my face’. So Sikandar put his address down and said, ‘Come, I’m waiting. I dare you Mr Troll to come and tell me on my face, whatever you just wrote here. If you’re going to say it on the internet, I dare you to come say it to me on my face.’ That person clearly will never have the guts to come and tell me this on my face. If someone comes and tells me things on my face, then I will feel they have conviction. I will respect that.
How are you so detached from fame though?
Fame is transient. I grew up with examples at home. When my father came home, he wasn’t Amitabh Bachchan, he was my father. Fame aayega, jayega and you realise it with just a couple of films.
Today 25 years in the industry later, are your parents proud of you? Your father says you are his truest ‘uttaradhikari’.
I think my father and mother would be proud of anything that I do, provided they know that I’ve given it my best. People forget he’s also a father. For us, Amitabh Bachchan is a hero. So, we never look at it from that lens, but he’s also a family man! He’s a father, he’s a grandfather. For some reason we think, ‘Oh no, he’s not allowed to be that or be human’, but he is. He’s also a father, and my mother is also a mother. I’m their child. They’re allowed to feel the way every other parent would feel.
But when Amitabh Bachchan watches ‘Sarkar ‘ today and says he was nowhere in the film—that it was all you—how do you take that?
I still remember watching the edit of ‘Sarkar’ with Ramu in his editing room for the first time. As the film was over, I just went out, I called dad, and said, ‘I’ve just seen the edit. You have no idea what you’ve done.’ Do you know, I think he shot for just 10 days on that film? There you go! That’s the impact he has, just 10 days and you never feel the lack of his presence even in scenes where he’s not there. That’s the power of his performance. It took one shot in the opening of the film where he’s sipping tea and he just looks up. No dialogue, nothing, just the way Ramu composed the shot and the way he performed the shot. It sums up the character right there for you and the power he wields. ‘Sarkar’ will always be the brilliance of Dad, without much to do, without many dialogues. In the second half, I tried to imbibe that as we are slowly showing Shankar transitioning into becoming Subhash Nagre.
As we wrap up, what next? Tell me about your current dreams and aspirations.
There are some things that we should not say, just hold dear to ourselves and guard them ferociously (smiles).
